Animals + Jokes = Perfect Combo!
Kids love animals, and kids love jokes — so animal jokes are pretty much the best thing ever invented! Whether your child is obsessed with dogs, fascinated by sharks, or can't get enough of penguins, there's an animal joke in here that's sure to make them burst out laughing.
All of these jokes are completely clean, kid-friendly, and easy enough for younger children to remember and tell on their own. Let's get wild!
Dog & Cat Jokes
- Q: What do you call a dog magician?
A: A labra-ca-dabra-dor! - Q: Why did the dog sit in the shade?
A: Because he didn't want to be a hot dog! - Q: What do cats eat for breakfast?
A: Mice Krispies! - Q: Why don't cats play poker in the jungle?
A: Too many cheetahs! - Q: What do you call a dog that can do magic tricks?
A: A golden retriever-er of disappearing treats! - Q: How does a cat end an argument?
A: They hiss and make up!
Farm Animal Jokes
- Q: Why did the cow cross the road?
A: To get to the udder side! - Q: What do you call a sleeping cow?
A: A bull-dozer! - Q: What do you call a pig that does karate?
A: A pork chop! - Q: Why do cows wear bells?
A: Because their horns don't work! - Q: What do you get when you cross a sheep and a kangaroo?
A: A woolly jumper! - Q: What do you call a horse that lives next door?
A: A neigh-bor!
Wild Animal Jokes
- Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest?
A: An investi-gator! - Q: Why don't elephants use computers?
A: They're afraid of the mouse! - Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A: A gummy bear! - Q: How do you know if there's an elephant under your bed?
A: Your nose touches the ceiling! - Q: What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?
A: A dino-snore! - Q: Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?
A: It takes them a long time to swallow their pride! - Q: What do you call two monkeys that share an Amazon account?
A: Prime mates!
Ocean Animal Jokes
- Q: Why don't oysters share?
A: Because they're shellfish! - Q: What do you call a fish without eyes?
A: A fsh! - Q: What did the ocean say to the beach?
A: Nothing, it just waved! - Q: Why do fish swim in salt water?
A: Because pepper makes them sneeze! - Q: What's a shark's favorite sandwich?
A: Peanut butter and jellyfish! - Q: How do you make an octopus laugh?
A: With ten tickles!
Bird Jokes
- Q: Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
A: Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels! - Q: What do you call a sad penguin?
A: A blue penguin! - Q: Why did the turkey join the band?
A: Because he had drumsticks! - Q: What do you get when you cross a parrot with a centipede?
A: A walkie-talkie!
Fun Animal Facts to Go with Your Jokes
| Animal | Fun Fact |
|---|---|
| Elephants | They're the only animals that can't jump! |
| Otters | They hold hands while sleeping so they don't drift apart. |
| Cows | They have best friends and get stressed when separated. |
| Octopuses | They have three hearts and blue blood! |
Pair a fun animal fact with a matching joke and you've got a winning combo for show-and-tell, class presentations, or just impressing your family at dinner!